


Rabies Negative

by sleepycryptid



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M, I just never got around to actually sticking these two together all the way lol my b, Iggy makes a very brief very silent appearance, It was a cute scene wasted on two horrible people so I recycled it, Noctis is mostly heard and not seen, This was something I wrote for an old oc that I didn’t end up doing anything with, but now I use her as my glaive for comrades so figure that one out I guess, nothing really coupley happens because it was mostly modeled after Piper and Larry’s first meeting, she was supposed to be a regular crown city citizen turned hunter, she’s a tipsy airhead and Prom is an adorably awkward dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepycryptid/pseuds/sleepycryptid
Summary: Kids, this is how I met your mother...Or: Prompto house sits for Noctis and meets a pretty girl in the process. Who would’ve guessed?
Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	Rabies Negative

**Author's Note:**

> This was the one and only time I wrote coherently for ffxv and I just found it again and realized how cute it was. Kinda makes me wanna rewrite it and see how much better it would be these couple years later, but for now, enjoy it as it ;)

It’s not uncommon that The Crown Prince of Lucis doesn’t make it home for a night—or several in a row, for that matter—so when Prompto receives a text from said best friend asking to meet outside the Citadel as soon as he can, he isn’t all too surprised. He has no clue what the guy could possibly want, but he supposes that’s what they’re meeting for.

On one hand, the text sounds urgent—especially for Noct—and he almost expects that something has happened, but on the other, it isn’t much of a surprise to find Noctis seated on the last step outside the spectacular building and messing around on his phone as if it’s simply another day.

He’d always been an exceptionally laid back guy, almost to the point of laziness. In fact, if you’d have asked Ignis—the ‘almost’ had no place in that statement.

“Yo! Noct!”

At the familiar greeting, he glances up from his phone screen, chin still resting in the palm of his free hand. “Yo.” He drawls in return, waiting for Prompto to join him.

And he does—plopping down casually beside him on the step and leaning back on his elbows.

“Whatever could His Highness want from little ol’ me?” He makes a show of wondering aloud, watching the other man from the corner of a mischievous eye. “And while I was _so_ busy, too.”

He clicks his tongue a few times for good measure.

“You’ll live.” Says the prince unsympathetically, with an overly patient look on his face. “I need a favor.”

“Eager to serve.” Prompto states grandly, pretending to bow as besthe can while sitting down.

“It looks like I’m gonna be stuck here for tonight at least, something came up—and no, I can’t tell you, so don’t look at me like that,” Prompto droops exaggeratedly and Noctis’ mouth twitches upward in amusement despite himself. “Anyway, I didn’t lock my door when I left today. Swing by on your way home and do that for me, yeah?”

He’s already digging the keys from his pocket and tossing them before Prompto can answer—not that he would’ve said no in the first place, anyway. He fumbles to catch them as they hit his lap.

“Sure thing, dude.” They jingle as Prompto spins the key ring around his index finger a few times. “Just call me the keymaster.”

“In your dreams.” The Prince grunts with effort as he pushes to his feet.

“It was a figure of speech.”

“Never know with you.”

At the top of the stairs, Ignis has emerged from inside the building, brow creased almost scoldingly—although that could’ve been due to the sun beating down mercilessly onto all three of them. He doesn’t even need to say anything before Noctis half-smiles apologetically and gives him a wave as if to say _I’m coming, I’m coming_. It earns him a sigh and a short shake of the head, but Ignis leaves it at that.

“ _Oooh_ , someone’s in trouble~” Prompto singsongs like a gradeschooler and grins impishly. “Have fun, Princeling. Later Iggy!”

Ignis offers a small smile and nods in his direction as he scampers off back into the city. Noctis lifts his hand in a wave, but Prompto is already halfway gone by then.

———

If you’ve ever pictured how the apartment of a twenty-year-old prince would look, you’ve probably come pretty close to imagining Noctis’ place. 

It’s about as big as you’d expect, and nearly the highest floor in the building—not quite penthouse, but surely more than one person needs; he’d stated so on many occasions. Still, it served him better than living anywhere overly _Royal,_ even if there were a few hoops to jump through what-with him being a prince living among the general populace.

Prompto had been in here more times than he would’ve been able to count in a reasonable amount of time, so he’s pretty well past feeling bad about heading inside instead of just locking the door and heading home like maybe most people would have. 

It’s sweltering outside, and Noct has incredible AC. _And_ a top of the line gaming system. As of now, he can’t think of a better place to be.

He digs in the fridge for a bit, grabs himself a drink, and pops in one of the games the Prince won’t kill him for messing up the saves on. Noct won’t mind—in fact, he almost definitely expected it when he’d asked the favor in the first place. 

As if to confirm this, his phone dings with a text from Noct a few minutes after he’s settled in saying: **Don’t touch the Ebony in the fridge, those are Specs.**

Prompto sends back a thumbs up to reassure him that they remain undisturbed. Frankly, he’s not a big coffee guy, anyhow. 

He spends the next few hours switching between grinding through dungeons and flipping through tv channels. Noct sends him texts throughout the meetings he’s attending—ranging from bored to annoyed to downright homicidal. Prompto finds himself grinning out a laugh more than once, feeling only a little bad laughing at his bestie’s expense. 

It’s about dinner time, and he’s considering ordering pizza or something when he hears the door jiggle a bit. A clumsy key in the lock, jamming and turning—jamming and turning. 

He doesn’t bother worrying, figuring it’s Gladio or Iggy come to grab something the Prince forgot at home before he’d realized he’d be stuck at the Citadel all night. He doesn’t call out when it finally opens, and barely looks up when someone stumbles in.

They halt in the doorway, seemingly noticing him, which isn’t altogether strange if they hadn’t realized he would still be here after all this time. It takes a moment for him to register the person as much smaller than either Gladio or Ignis, but when he does it sends a jolt through him like jump starting a car. He straightens up almost immediately and finds a girl he’s never met before standing in the archway by the door.

She watches him, detached, seeming half-curious and half-confused. Half wondering what the hell he’s doing here and half wondering the same about herself.

Definitely _not_ completely sober.

He takes a moment to observe her. She is a palette of earthy, natural tones all the way from her hair down to her feet: Smooth amber-gold skin and eyes the color of healthy soil. Dark curls, braided to her scalp on one side and left to flow past her shoulders everywhere else—black at first glance but really just a very dark shade of brown. There’s a flowy hunter green tank top on her shoulders and a nude-brown cardigan hanging open over that. Her pants are a darker brown and her toenails are shining green through her strappy sandals. She’s holding a leather wristlet in the hand that isn’t holding the keys.

He wonders if he should be thanking the Six or cursing them for springing this on him, so unprepared. 

“This...” She stops to give the room a once-over—glances down at her keys, “This is _Noct’s_ apartment—right?”

“Uh...” Prompto says intelligently. “Yeah.”

“Is...he being robbed...?” She tilts her head in a ditzy way that would’ve been cute were he not so utterly confused. His eyes snag a little on her leg, where there’s a hole in the thigh of her pants and a small dark stain. A drink? Or blood?

“No!” She starts at the forcefulness of his answer and he clears his throat sheepishly. “Uh, no—I’m just a friend. Prompto. Did you need him for something, he’s, uh...at the Citadel. Princely business...”

He gives a nervous laugh as she scrutinizes him further in that way that kids do before they’ve been taught not to stare. Her eyes have that hazy, can’t-be-bothered quality that most tipsy people do. Then she shrugs, suddenly and jerkily.

“Oh, well...I was just in the area.” She continues inside, kicking off her shoes and dropping her purse on the floor carelessly with a **thump**. She stops next to him, and he can smell her flowery perfume tickling his nose. She sticks a manicured finger into the hole in her pants and pulls it to reveal a gash on her thigh. “I got bit by a dog.”

She snorts, as if it’s funny, but his eyes widen. It’s a nasty bite.

“Holy shit.” He muses, squinting at it.

“ _Right_?” She agrees, tentatively teasing the skin around her wound with her free index finger. “Shitty little thing. Only got me up this high because I was kneeling down. Total sneak attack.”

She looks more fascinated than upset; the tip of her tongue pokes through her lips as she continues prodding near the bite. “I’m Quill, by the way.” She straightens the hunch in her back and starts unbuttoning her jeans. “Anyway, I thought I should stop by and wash it, since I have keys. I was out with some friends but they all left and I was on my way back.”

Prompto reels back holding his hands out to stop her, “W-w-wai— _w-what are you doing_?!”

She stops, contemplates, and then looks at him blankly. “I’m taking my pants off.”

“I got that part... _why_?”

“They’re skinnies.” She states matter-of-factly, “Can’t pull’m up. So, down they go—“

Down they went.

Prompto practically launches himself from the couch, but she doesn’t seem to notice. His face is as pink as a chocobo’s bare ass, too, so he’s grateful for that much at least. “I’ll—I’ll go get the first aid kit.”

And he does, ducking into the bathroom and digging it out from under the sink, and then rummaging through the medicine cabinet to find rubbing alcohol or peroxide or something.

**Your girlfriend’s here ;)**

He shoots the text to Noct, intending to tease the hell out of his best friend for trying to hide her. He gets an answer almost immediately—the meeting must’ve taken a recess.

**She’s not my girlfriend...**

And a moment later: **Wait, who?**

**Uh,,,then who’s “Quill”?**

**Not my girlfriend**

Prompto takes the nonchalant reply as a good sign because at least he’s not freaking out about a stranger in his house.

He emerges from the bathroom and returns to the living room to find her curled up in the corner of the couch with her injured thigh facing up. She’s poking at it again.

Ah, the wonders of a subtle buzz...

“So, uh...” He begins, moving to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of her, “What happens if it had rabies?”

“It didn’t have rabies.” She glances at him through a curtain of curls, watching as he opens the kit and digs out one of those packets of individual wipes. He tears it open with his teeth and hands it to her, continuing to scavenge as she grabs the bottle of peroxide and sets to work.

“How do you know?” He asks, finding himself with a small grin on his face. She sounds so sure of herself, it’s hard not to laugh a little.

“You didn’t see it,” She replies, wetting the wipe and leaning over her leg. She presses against the cut tentatively and continues to speak. “It was— _hoLY FUCKING SIX!_ ”

She jerks the wipe away and glares at it like it’s offended her, then she sucks air through her teeth and keeps cleaning with a grimace while Prompto stifles his laughs as best he can on such short notice. “It was one of those expensive-ass white fluffballs and it’s owner was some prissy tramp with her nose so high in the air she could catch flies.” She looks him in the eye with a wicked grin. “It _didn’t_ have rabies.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” He shrugs, “you could die, Y’know.”

She pauses—looks at him for a long moment. He’s mentally slapping himself of course. _Sure, meet a pretty girl—tell her she’s gonna die. No wonder you’re still single._

“Aren’t _you_ a ray of sunshine?” Her eyes are sparkling with amusement.

“U-uh, so how—how do you know Noct? He says you’re not his girlfriend.”

“And you don’t believe him?” Her tongue is poking out again as she focuses on cleaning her bite. “Do I have to be?”

He hesitates. “No, I guess not.”

She keeps doing that unsmiling-yet-somehow-amused thing and it’s throwing him all the way off. She’s an...intense drunk, he surmises. “If you wanna know the truth—he tried to steal my cat.”

Prompto is silent for quite a while.

“Is...is there more to that story, or...?”

“I took her collar off for,like, a millisecond—I found this super cute ribbon for really cheap at a little corner shop near my place and I wanted her to try it on, but she’s all like _noooo, I’m gonna catapult myself into the windowsill and worm my way outside because I’m a little gremlin who doesn’t have a healthy fear of the outdoors like I should._ And she disappears for like, a _month_. I’m putting posters up, I’m calling friends and friends of friends—who are _also_ putting posters up.” She takes a breath. 

“Eventually the posters make it this far and one day Noct shows up at my door with that little shit all cuddled up in his arms. He thought she was a stray and was totally gonna keep her. Like a cat thief. So now I bring her over to see him sometimes, because a beautiful friendship blossomed _from_ his cat thievery.”

Prompto tilts his head, trying not to laugh at the masterful impression of a talking cat she’s concocted. “ _Hey_ , I remember that cat! He was gonna call her Behemoth.”

Quill frowns deeply. “That’s terrible.” She tells him. “Her name is Assblaster.”

Prompto waits for her to say she’s kidding.

He keeps waiting.

She tries to wipe the cut again but it makes her hiss and mumble something like _Ifrit’s nutsack_ under her breath before crumpling it up in her hand. “I’m taking a _bath_!” She announces loudly, looking disgruntled and resolved at the same time. Prompto scooches hurriedly out of the way as she tries to step over him. “I’ll be quick!”

He watches her in something like confused awe as she walks away, trying especially hard not to notice that she’d kept her pants off. “Uh, hey...!”

She turns, hair whirling behind her like a cape. “Hey!” She bounces, smiling at him.

“I was...Uh...I was gonna order pizza earlier, did you—Uh, did you wanna split?” He scratches the back of his neck and hopes his brain will stop holding his ability to speak properly hostage by the time she’s done in the bathroom.

“I can split.” She says and then bites a lip between her teeth. He flushes from the tips of his ears to all down his neck and struggles to maintain eye contact. 

“Uh, cool...what...kind?”

“ _Meat lovers_.” And then she’s snickering down the hall, leaving him and his brain to overheat in the living room.


End file.
